Thursday, August 16, 2007

Oh No, Not Again!!!!

It was a rocking week in Bombay. I had been there for a family function as well as seeking a much needed break. The week got spend like just few minutes. Finally, yesterday i had to leave for Bangalore. I just didn't feel like coming back... :-(

My train was Udayan Exp. at 9:00 am from Bombay. Traveling alone that too in train..cannot get more boring than this.. My only hope was finding some good looking girls. Suddenly, 1 nite@ call centre book by Chetan Bhagat flashed my mind shoving in more excitement. I was hoping against hope..

My watch said 9:05 am and i could see Udayan slowly chugging in platform no.4 of Kalyan JN. I quickly went through the chart of S-8 coach. My seat no. was 48. What I saw was....

Seat No.~~~ Age ~~~~~Sex
-----------------------------
. . .
46~~~~~~~~61~~~~~~~ F
47~~~~~~~~67~~~~~~~ M
48~~~~~~~~23~~~~~~~M
49~~~~~~~~48~~~~~~~ M
50~~~~~~~~30~~~~~~~ M
. . .

There were not even any girls (leave alone good-looking) in my bogie.

Luck never favors me these days.... :-( :-(

Monday, August 6, 2007

Meeting !?!

Today its busy in office than usual... everyone seems to be in some sort of hurry... These days its very chilly in Bangalore. Mercury level has decreased and visits to the loo has increased considerably. ;-)

I went to the restroom, and could hear a gentleman talking loudly on his phone. It was like someone was barking inside the toilet room. He was obviously in a unloading session. Suddenly, he seemed to end the conversation and said, "Right now, I am in a meeting.. Will call up later.!!" :-)

Btw I have a meeting now, catch u later. :P

Sunday, August 5, 2007

Army Diaries

SSB Army selection

It was year 2002. I had just joined my engg college. I never wanted to do engg. just for the reason that there are enggrs everywhere. Most of my cousins are enggrs. I was desperate to do something different at that time.

Kargil was fresh in my mind and I had, have and will have lots of patriotism in me. Adrenalin was running high. I decided Army is my destination. I wanted to become an Armyman and do something fruitful for my country.

The SSB (Service selection board) army interview for Men (10+2) advertisement caught my attention. I wasted no time in applying for it. After some days I got a call from them to attend the selection camp in Bangalore.

My mood was upbeat on getting the interview letter. It was a feeling that I had already become an Army officer. I arrived in Bangalore(for the first time) and was intimidated by the scores of aspirants. Finally, we reached the SSB campus in Brigade Road, Blore. We were welcomed by Col.Singh and were briefed about the selection process.
There were some 180 candidates in all from nook and corner of the country. For the first time I got a taste of Unity in diversity. It was proud feeling.....

Next day morning was the written test followed by a GD. It ended by 10:30 AM and then started the anxious wait for the results. The candidates who passed in this test would be asked to stay back for the physical tests(and various other tests) for next 3 days, others would be heading back home. Everyone was feeling nervous. We had made quite a few friends by this time. Again it was aggregation of people on linguistic basis. There were tamil group, hindi groups, bihari gangs, marathi guys and so on.

Here I met Jegan, Jones, Ashok Kumar and 1 Telugu guy(forgot his name though). We gelled nicely and had long chats discussing about life, girls, food etc.. Then a officer came and asked the folks to re-group based on our ID. Butterflies were flying in the stomach. The officer started to read out ID and names of the pupils who were selected. I was just praying to get selected. I saw the shock and enjoyment on faces of others. My ID was 73. The officer called out 69, then 72, and then went on to call 78.

My dreams were shattered. It was as if I couldn't breath for a moment or two. Life seemed to have ended and I couldn't hear anything after that. A guy beside me shook me up and said he is calling ur number. I was shocked and surprised and then realised that he had missed calling out my number. Hurray, I was selected for the physical rounds. It was a great sigh of relief more than pride.

All of us, Jegan, Jones and Ashok got selected for the physical test. The poor Telugu guy had to make his way back home that day :-( We felt very sorry for him and missed him.

The next 2 days were gruelsome days in my life. I remember a drill called "Tiger leap" where we had to climb up a platform and jump some 3 meters in air to catch hold a big rope. I jumped but couldn't grip on to the rope(thanks to my extra pounds). The force of gravity was unkind to my weight. I came down screeching with the rope and was left with skin peeled-of from both my hands. I was girthing in pain and was given a dressing by the medical team.

3 more days passed. Everyday, Our drills/tests/GD et al would end by 11:30 am and we were allowed to go out and return back by 8:00 pm. Myself, Jegan and Jones went out everyday roaming the streets of MG road, Brigade road etc. It seemed to be girls, girls and girls everywhere. Jegan was at his flirting best in those days.. :-) We saw 2 movies in those 3 days and did lotz of shopping. Jegan used to say ,"Maapla, MG road la oru TEA kadai podanumda!!!" (Dude, We should open up a TEA stall in MG road) obviously to have a peep at the babes 24/7.. :-)

It was D day, the fifth day of our stay in the garden city. The results were going to be announced. The guys getting selected would be commissioned permanently in the Army. The unlucky would as usual go back home... Col.Singh came dressed in full Army Uniform. After the usual pep talk, he received a paper from his sub-ordinate. It was a feeling which i could never again experience. From Army uniform, Movie Border, Bofors, AK 47, Paki enemies, Param Veer Chakra...everything brushed my mind. The officer started reading the names.. We were 28 in all. He read 3 names and said,"Thats All". And my name was in the majority :-(

It was the most killing moment in life. There seemed to be no future. All hopes were shattered. I was not going in the Army. A so close, yet so far kinda feeling. Me Jegan, Ashok and Jones all heading back home. Only relief was no one got selected from our group. The officer left. It was a moment of grief amongst the 25 unlucky folks. It was pin drop silence in the hall. Everyone was unable to come over the grief. Suddenly Jegan shouted with great enthusiasm jumping up and down....

"Heyyyy!!!!!!! All of us are selected for going HOME, CONGRATS"

Hall burst out in laughter hearing that....Everyone got relaxed and shared a light moment after that..

Thanks to Jegan...

:-)

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Flop show!!!

Few days back, I saw a beautiful girl in my office food court.. There was something special in her which made me follow her a bit...She was magnetic in a sense.. :D She had a beautiful smile which even an angel would envy(too filmy huh :P). Her whole persona amazed me. She just seemed to be my dream girl. One more to my list of dream girl(s). hehehehe... Actually such feelings happen to me every now and then. :P This was supposed to be just another one....

I had noticed her Emp No. on her ID. After I went back to my desk, first job was to know her name in the Telephone directory. I had to contact her somehow. I was just thinking of some pretext. Mail seemed to be the best option. I mustered some courage somehow and decided to mail her my feelings. It all seemed awkward. I was no more in a college. But i just couldn't avoid myself from mailing her....

What was my mail and what was her reply.... Check that below....

p.s: font colored for better reading!




From: Ashwath
To: (name intentionally left blank)
Subject: hi...


Hi ,
Are you from Bombay and do you know Priti from KJ Somaiya, Bombay??

Confused??? :-)
Lemme explain….saw u at Lotus Eaterz today noon and was perplexed… U are a carbon copy of my frnd back in Mumbai… :-) R u her sibling???

I wanted to ask you then and there but felt little awkward (donno why!!) Jest happened to see ur name on ur ID…

Anyways, How abt being frnds??? :D If u r okay with this idea, I hope u don’t have any reservations having a coffee with me?? :-) :-)

Reg,
Ash7



From: (name intentionally left blank)
To: Ashwath
Subject: RE: hi...


Hi Ash7,

No I m not frm Bombay.

No I do not know Priti.

No I m not her sibling either.

(But I m sure u already know dat)

Anyways, I do not like coffee.

TC


From: Ashwath
To:
(name intentionally left blank)
Subject:
RE:RE:hi...

Hi,

(But I m sure u already know dat) – mere khayal se hindi films aap bhi bahut dekhte hain :P

Anyways, I donno whether you like TEA if not coffee ??? :P :P

Regards,
Ash7




From: (name intentionally left blank)
To:
Ashwath
Subject: RE:RE:RE: hi...

:-)



After this I didn't bother to re-re-re-reply her again ;-) Anyways it was a flop show. You are welcome to suggest some other good ideas which will work out in future....


Btw shall we go for a coffee??? ;-)

Friday, June 1, 2007

Two daughters (girls) !!

A lazy afternoon post lunch and a boring applied science class lectured by a equally boring lecturer. Life can't get cruel than this.

We were in the 1st year of our engg. and everything related to academics seemed to kindle boredom. Our Applied Science madam, Mrs.Kobze; had the best sleeping pill in the world. We seldom missed her lectures, as it gave us 1 hr of gooooooood sleeeeeeeep!
That day students decided to revolt and demanded Mrs.Kobze not to take the lecture. But, She was hell bent on making us sleep. Better sense prevailed and she decided it as a off-period.

Students started to move out of the class but suddenly she said, "All of u give me your intro!" Students gazed at each other in disappointment and pestered the madam to herself start with the Introduction parade!

She started with her typical English!

My name Mrs.Kobze madam. (Ah! What a start!) I in this college for 3 year(I in what?? ). I teach AS to students (whom else she hopes to teach !?!). I are married. (are??????) I have two daughters...both of them are girls (No comments!!! God save her and her pupils!!)

Attestation!

I did my engg. from XYZ college (Umm..huh..don't wanna tell its name! Infact its not worth a mention!!). My alma-mater was a so good that its pupils were better in english than its staffs(lecs/profs). I prefer to call our college Shetkari Mahavidyalay (Farmer's college in Marathi)..hehee...

One of the most funniest moments was in our college's administrative office. Me, Pawan and Arun(my best pals) had been to the office to resolve some issue. There was a lady-staff who was chit-chatting with her colleague at one of the counters...We decided to do so eavesdropping. What we heard was absolutely the most memorable moments in our life..nothing can be more funnier than this...

Lady-staff: "Saheb, Ikde attestatation { this is how she said!!! 1 extra 'ta' :D } kuthe hote??? " (Sir, Where is attestatation done here?)
Gent-staff: Ikde atetion {this is how he said!!! 1 'ta' missing :D } hot nahi, maidam??? (Atetion is not done here)

Hearing them we forgot the right pronunciation of "Attestation". ;-)

Free Banana!

There has been no dearth of innovations from vendors to sell their product. The more innovative their advertising skills, merrier is the sales of their products...

This incident confirms this....

I often go to Dadar (a Mumbai suburb) during my college days. There were two reasons to it.. One was to attend some crash courses on some Engg. subjects and the other being the huge crowd of truly cosmopolitan girls~most of them college going! :-) Dadar was famous for 5 things viz., 1) Engg. Classes 2) Nice looking urban babes 3) Vada-Pav 4) Crowd and 5) Fruit Market.

I was on my way back to Dadar railway station walking on the narrow aisle of the Fruit market. There were many fruit stalls with their vendors yelling from their deep-throat~ They speak a mix of Hindi, Marathi and English U c... for ex. "Yeh phroot(fruit) bahoot tasteeee aahe saab!!!! " (This fruit is very tasty sir!)
But, there was a big crowd in one particular stall. A young kid was manning the shop. Curious to know the big crowd in front of his shop, I went near it only to get completely washed of my feet hearing the lad's screams...

"Saab!!...Kela toh muft hai...bas daam chilke ka hai....!!" (The banana is free but only the cost is of its peels).